When Parks Speak: Discover the Secret Language that Lies Within
"I'm feeling overwhelmed. And I'm really struggling. It's too hard trying to do it all. How do I do it all??" I can feel the heaviness of all my ideas, desires and 'should-dos' weighing down on me.
Then I hear another harsher voice in me say, “How are you even supposed to help others when you are struggling yourself? Why can't you do better and be better?”
Hearing this makes me want to cower in shame and hide from everyone - to just retreat into hermit mode, give it all up and do nothing. This part feels more vulnerable than the previous two, and I hear a soft, resigned voice whispering back - “I know I am not perfect. I will never be enough.”
And then I feel a more compassionate softening of my own inner wisdom speaking - ‘We are not perfect, and we are not meant to be perfect. And you are enough, what you're doing is more than enough.’
Lately, I’ve felt as if I’m standing in the middle of a bustling marketplace, overwhelmed by multiple clamouring voices vying for my attention. Each voice represents a part of me, with its own needs, fears, and desires. It’s an intricate dance of inner dialogue, and at times, it feels like I’m being pulled in every direction.
Does this resonate? Have you ever felt like you’re managing an entire cast of characters within yourself?
As I delve deeper into my internal world, I begin to discern the distinct voices of my parts. First, there’s Mandy, a sweet yet overwhelmed manager part. She’s like a teenager, shouldering adult responsibilities, and striving for balance in spirituality, professional education, personal growth, health, and relationships. She’s concerned about my well-being, my routines, and my ability to balance all the demands life throws at me. Mandy’s voice is tender yet persistent, always striving for the best, always worried about dropping the ball.
Then, there’s the anxious business-minded manager, ever vigilant and focused on all things business-related, urging me to write, create, and connect with potential clients. She’s driven by a desire for growth and financial stability, nudged along by a financially anxious ally who reminds her of the importance of taking action to secure our financial future. Together, they form a formidable duo, constantly pushing for forward momentum with strong desires to achieve external success.
Among the many parts of me, the voice of Crissy stands out, critical and sharp, she is a part of me that is currently fixated on my appearance. She teams up with a younger, image-conscious part, whispering insecurities about my weight and not matching up to external standards of beauty. The whispers of insecurity and image consciousness intertwine with Mandy’s worries about making sure that all of my parts are either satisfied or kept hidden, thus adding another layer of complexity to her role.
Meanwhile, a sleepy part, one who prefers avoidance and escapism, seeks solace in distractions, hoping to quell the rising tide of anxiety created by the various conflicting parts, by retreating into a world of Korean dramas or sleep.
In this intricate dance of parts, who do I attend to first? I pause and check inside.
It becomes clear that the sleepy part, with her head buried in the sand, needs my reassurance. I approach her gently, asking for a moment of trust. I can handle this, I tell her, if you give me the space to be present. Slowly, she steps back, granting me the clarity to listen to the others.
Next, I turn to Mandy, my sweet, diligent and over-responsible manager. Her tears are palpable, and I feel her crumbling under the pressure. You’ve done so much, I whisper. It’s enough for now. I offer her my compassion and gratitude, recognising the immense effort she puts forth each day. Acknowledging her efforts allows her to breathe easier, to realise that perfection isn’t the goal—progress is. Together, we celebrate the small victories—attending Islamic classes to deepen into my spirituality, practising yoga nidra, connecting with loved ones, and building small healthy habits into my lifestyle. These achievements, though they may seem modest, are stepping stones on our journey.
As I navigate my inner world, I recognise that each part has its purpose, its story. By giving each part its due attention, by holding them in compassion and gratitude, I begin to restore a sense of calm and balance within. This journey of self-discovery and healing is not just about managing these voices, but about nurturing them, understanding their roles, and leading them with the energy of my true self.
This nurturing energy, my Self energy, thus becomes a guiding light, illuminating the path forward for my various parts with resilience and wisdom.
The above is just a small glimpse into how I use the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model to support my own internal well-being and nurture the different parts of me in a compassionate, open-hearted way.
Within the framework of IFS, we contain multitudes - parts of us that are of different ages, and holding on to various experiences, fears, burdens and taking on different roles in our internal system to keep us safe and well. Importantly, there are no bad parts - each voice within has a positive intention for our lives though their strategies for achieving those intentions may not always work out the way they intended.
Even as an experienced psychotherapist who has been applying the principles and model of IFS in my daily life, I know how challenging it can be to try to create and hold space for the different parts of me, especially when there’s one or a few that feel all-consuming, leading to overwhelm.
During these times, I have often wished there was someone else I could reach out to - someone who could hold space for my parts, and offer gentle guidance and support to help me regain my calm and clarity. And this made me wonder, how many other sensitives out there might be needing this same type of support? Something more short-term, more focused on their present without the need for investing in a long-term commitment of therapy.
And how many other sensitives, like me, would prefer to have support that allowed for more spaciousness? Instead of the usual hour long sessions on a weekly basis, typical of most psychotherapy, what if there was access to a week long supportive container so I could share my thoughts, emotions, or reflections, ask questions, receive guidance, and continue processing and reflecting on the guidance received without any sense of urgency to respond immediately.
This inquiry of ‘what ifs’ is how my latest offering was born.
Today, I’m thrilled to introduce you to When Parts Speak: IFS-based Voicenote Support—a unique offering crafted with you, the highly sensitive individual, in mind.
The creation of When Parts Speak wasn’t just about developing another service; it was about weaving together the threads of compassionate understanding, a judgement-free space, flexible support, and my expertise in IFS. I wanted to offer something that could meet you where you are, in the midst of life’s challenges, and provide a guiding hand.
What makes it truly special?
It’s a week-long journey where you receive up to 3 hours of personalised voicenote and chat guidance rooted in the IFS model - designed to help you listen to and connect with those inner parts that might be feeling a bit lost, overwhelmed, or conflicted, and share your healing energy with them, nurturing them towards harmony.
You might be wondering, how can this help me?
Well, picture this: you’re standing in a dense forest of emotions, with no clarity on which path to take, your emotions clouding over your true desires and intentions for life, and causing chaos and disruption in your daily routines and relationships.
This is where the short-term, IFS-based support gently steps in to hold space for all your thoughts and emotions, acting as your compass, and helping you find clarity and a new perspective on your current situation - to see the forest from above instead of getting lost in the trees. Through this, you’ll learn to cultivate emotional resilience and tap into your inner wisdom, transforming the internal chaos into calm.
It was also important to me that this service would not only be effective but also affordable. At just $99 SGD, you will receive a week of immersive, personalised support— up to three hours of voicenote and chat interaction designed to help you cultivate more Self-leadership from within and find solutions that resonate with all parts of you.
Ultimately, When Parts Speak: IFS-based Voicenote Support aims to serve as your compassionate guide on your journey of healing and self-discovery. It’s about empowering you to find your own path to calm and clarity, even when life feels overwhelming.
I am truly honoured to share this with you, and I hope it serves as a valuable companion on your journey.
Are you ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment?
