Hey, I'm Elia (pronounced as e-lay-ya)!

I am on a mission to support purpose-driven professionals, activists and passionate agents of culture change because I believe we need more people like them who are working with a strong sense of purpose and integrity, and who want to create meaningful change for the betterment of this world, especially those who are struggling and oppressed.

A year after I received my first major promotion from Senior Social Worker to Assistant Manager of Research, I began to feel a yearning to break free of the social service system I was part of, and to actually begin finding a path forward that would allow all purpose-driven professionals to truly savour their work and life. You see, while working as a social worker in a specialist centre for interpersonal violence, I began noticing my own signs of burnout and compassion fatigue settling in. When I looked around me, hoping to find answers to get out of this state of constant firefighting, urgency and anxiety, I began to recognise that I was not alone. All around me were co-workers who were struggling in their own ways, fighting their own battles.

"Compassion is not a relationship between the wounded and the healer. Compassion is a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well, can we be present with the darkness of others." 

-Pema Chodrön

I began to realise that there was a gap between what helping professionals were being taught about self-care and the extent to which they could realistically implement it in their lives. 
I also saw and felt many helping professionals losing their passion, burning out, becoming disillusioned with change-making and resigning themselves to simply work for the system instead of for their clients. 
Most of all, I saw a gap between the head knowledge and embodied wisdom of highly responsible workers, and how way too many of them were facing high stress, health issues, and feeling disconnected from their bodies as they sacrificed their own physical/ mental health to continue surviving as part of a relentless system that cared more about cost efficiency than their well-being.

It was then, that I decided that there had to be a different way, a better way where we did not have to sacrifice our well-being to support the well-being of others. 

In 2021, I took a leap of faith to leave my professional 9-to-6 job as a social worker, to manifest my newborn purpose of guiding other purpose-driven professionals on an inner journey to remember their worth, embody their wholeness and thrive in wellness. As I started my search for tools and methods to recover from my own burnout and compassion fatigue, I began to realise that in order for me to support other purpose-driven professionals effectively and authentically, I first needed to learn to face my own shadows and meet all parts of myself with compassion and courage.

By looking within myself, I began to realise that my burnout and poor well-being were mostly a result of my deep sense of unworthiness and inability to embrace my wholeness. I started seeing similar patterns of unworthiness, lack of wholeness and burnout among co-workers and others in the helping/healing professions, and the challenges they faced in navigating their way to meaningful resources and support. 

Soon after I left my job, I found my way to the practice of Trauma Center Trauma Sensitive Yoga (TCTSY) which helped me to reconnect to my body and regain an internal sense of autonomy and confidence in my body’s wisdom. Shortly after, I was introduced to the psychotherapy model called Internal Family Systems (IFS) that made all the difference in how I began relating to myself and different parts of me. Having personally experienced the inner and outer transformation that these tools offered me, I now integrate these modalities into my somatic and spiritual healing process to support other heart-centered, purpose-driven professionals.

More about my personal life

My ancestral roots

My paternal grandmother named me Eliarani. The literal translation from Tamil to English means ‘Young (Elia) Queen (Rani)’. I am born of South Asian (Sri Lankan) and Chinese ancestry. But my Chinese ancestral roots were cut off way before my birth, as my mother who was born to an ethnic Chinese in Singapore, was raised and later adopted by a South Indian family as an infant.

My driving force

As a result of my own experience of a chaotic childhood, and dysfunctional family dynamics, I became strongly motivated by a mission to serve others in a way that could enhance their lives. It was the only thing that kept me going and that provided a sense of meaning for my life. The drive to be of service to others in some way or form is what led me to become a helping professional - specifically, a social worker in the field of trauma, violence, abuse and neglect. 

What I am proud of and grateful for

I am proud of being part of a multi-cultural, and multi-religious family (ask me, if you want to know more). And I am most grateful for my privilege of having an education and access to resources that has allowed me to explore the edges of my comfort zone and embrace different ways of knowing and being in this world that goes against the dominant, capitalist, patriarchal culture.

My guilty pleasures

I love indulging in Korean dramas, especially the ones with romance and comedy rolled into one, and am capable of binge-watching K-dramas for 4 hours or more. I am a matcha addict and a serial learner who tends to invest endlessly in non-fiction, self-help books as well as countless online courses.

My identities

I am a cis-gender, heterosexual woman of South Indian and East Asian descent. I was born and raised in Singapore in the 90s, and I currently reside with my husband (who is British Muslim of Bengali descent) in a beautiful home in Dubai. I’ve always associated my main identity with the work I do but am now learning to live with the peace of knowing I am a uniquely designed being of Wild Wonder (aka God’s creation), and that it is okay not to hold onto any of my identities so tightly.

What people are saying.

"The best part of working with Elia was being able to bounce off ideas with her; her safe, affirming and non-judgemental presence; knowing that what she shared with me is research and evidence-based. After working with Elia, I have learned to (1) be able to name my parts as they arise and letting my Self be in conversation with them, and to show more compassion to the parts of me, (2) Recognise that I am good enough and I am who I am meant to be, that I can't fit into every mould and condition that are created by society/other people, (3) that it's OK to take it slow and to honour my energy levels, and (4) be more sensitive to my body, mind and feelings."

— Joycelin, Social Worker, Singapore 

"Right from the discovery call prior to the programme, I was drawn in by her sincerity and professionalism in seeking to create genuine value for me. Elia focused purely on uncovering my needs and helped me to identify key tools and roadmaps to align my purpose with myself in a way could be used in any aspect of my life.
Elia’s constant care and deep listening allowed me to trust her and maximize my learnings from her, and I have no doubt that her empathy driven methodology will be able to make a difference to anyone seeking to better themselves in any way."

— Thashalan, Business Development Manager, Singapore

My Circle of Competencies

Above all, you will need to learn the art of compassion – that elusive spring hidden in a secret glade somewhere deep inside your heart. Your compassion is paramount – the ability to parent yourself when wounded, to forgive yourself your perceived failures, and to look upon yourself with constant gentle wonder.

- Richard Rudd

Experience working with me

Receive one-on-one support from me to transform your survival-driven energies into Self-empowerment. Speak to me to find out if we are a good fit for each other.

There is no obligation to sign up for any of my services after our call.